Trump’s Final Message To Voters Ahead Of Midterms: Hey, Everybody, Look At My Reflecting Pool

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‘Twas the day before Election Day and at the White House — not a creature was stirring about anything but kicking all the Muslims out.

The stakes are high, and Republicans care — with hopes that the president gives red hat voters a scare.

But out on the lawn there arose such a fool — who spent the whole time talking about his damn reflecting pool.

Nah, but seriously, what the hell is wrong with y’all’s president?

On Monday, while Democrats focused on voters’ economic frustrations in their final messages to voters leading up to Tuesday’s midterms, President Donald Trump was in front of the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool talking about the  Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool.

20 minutes into an hour-long speech that was billed as Trump’s final message to voters before they head to the polls, he stood there still rambling about is many renovations around Washington, D.C., especially the reflecting pool he’s still claiming was damaged by “vandals,” a claim he made after musing that he’s “giving serious thought to changing the name to the Trump Reflecting Pool,” which he said before quickly clarifying that he’s “only kidding,” and warning that the press would report that he was serious, which might be true, but only because it wouldn’t have been anymore ridiculous than every other time he talked about renaming something and then moving to do so.

OK, but he must have had something else to say to MAGA voters to get them to the polls, right? Let’s fast forward a bit.

Ah yes, here he is talking about something important to the American peop…

Oh, no, wait, he’s talking about grass, or whatever.

“We’re replacing all of the grass in all of the parks, because like a human being, grass has a life also,” Trump said.

I just want to take the time to point out that during this whole speech, Trump is repeatedly looking down at the podium, which means he’s likely reading something, which means somebody actually wrote down this dry, rambling nonsense about grass and pools and shit.

Anyway, let’s get a little deeper into the speech. I’m sure he changed the subject soon after this.

Nope, he’s still talking about his “massive piece of pool.”

Also, he had visual aids, you know, in case you had no idea what the reflecting pool he was standing right in front of was supposed to look like.

OK, here’s something: he’s talking about “deaths.” Surely, that means he’s giving us updates on his war in Iran, right?

Nope, he appears to be talking about — *checks notes* — deaths at the reflecting pool.

“We were losing on average to death 3 people a week. And now we don’t have that,” Trump said without bothering to explain where the hell he got that information from.

I’m sorry, but did Barack Obama really hurt the president’s feelings that bad when he was roasting him over his obsession with “arts and crafts” projects in D.C.? Or is Trump still so salty over the algae-infested disaster that his reflecting pool project was back in June — when he was having U.S. citizens falsely arrested because he needed scapegoats to hide his incompetence behind — that he needed to spend valuable campaigning time showing people he finally got it right for the time being?

According to CNN, Trump only spent about 10 minutes actually talking about the election in his speech. However, he did take the time to address issues such as his claim that the Democratic Senate nominee in Michigan, Dr. Abdul El-Sayed, “qualified for the ballot by campaigning and soliciting signatures at radical mosques and called the United States the ‘House of Satan,” referring, apparently, to a story by the New York Post and other right-leaning outlets, highlighting that El-Sayed visited an Islamic center where a speaker previously remarked that Muslims were living “in a house of Satan” while in the U.S.

OK, well, we knew that no Trump speech would be complete without the invoking of xenophobia and Islamophobia. Well, what about transphobia? Did he have any of that to share?

Come on, y’all, of course he did.

“We’re gonna protect our children from the transgender sexual violations, the horrible treatment that they’ve gotten,” Trump said, citing all that “mutilization” he’s been talking about, while ranting about kids getting sex changes at school, which one would only believe if they also believe three people a week were drowning in a pool they could have just stood up and walked out of before he swooped in to save the day.

OK, I finally found something he directly said about the midterms, which he called “the most important midterm, I believe, in our lifetime,” which you wouldn’t know with the amount of time he spent talking about literally everything but the midterms.

“We’ll defend our country, our culture and our heritage for generations to come,” he concluded. “We’re going to keep it the way it is. We’re going to make it better, and just.”

And there it is: culture war nonsense and white nationalism disguised as “heritage.” That’s all MAGA has ever been, and that’s all Trump has in his bag of tricks.

Sad.

Get out and vote, y’all.

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