Pete Hegseth Shows Off Weak And Wimpy Workout Again [Op-Ed]

Source: Heather Diehl / Getty

Look, some people just deserve to be bullied — because they’re bullies themselves, and many of them even have the nerve to be soft-as-cat-hair bullies.

This is about “Secretary of War” Pete Hegseth.

Since this goofy-ass dork of a pseudo-manly man keeps calling military generals and personnel into official meetings, so he can talk testosterone, “fatties,” anti-wokeness and whatever the hell it is he thinks “warrior ethos” are, and he keeps making comical political theater out of staged workouts with soldiers, that he films and posts online, only to have generals who actually workout comment about how bad and wimpy his form is, we’re, uh — we’re going to go ahead and bully him over how bad and wimpy his form is.

OK, guys, be nice. Look, Fox News caught Secretary Arm-and-Scammer doing like three pull-ups.

But yes, if you rifle through the footage of Hegseth’s workout this week with Marines from the 3rd Marine Aircraft Wing at the Miramar Sports Complex in San Diego — you know, that city President Donald Trump just loves — you’ll mostly find him lagging behind troops on their run, doing the kind of pushups you do when you don’t really do pushups, and lifting dumbbells with the kind of form that will have you doing Trump’s accordion-hand gesture thing that he does once the arthritis kicks in.

And even if you find footage where he’s doing reps that look, well, fine for the most part, there’s still the question of why this man keeps trying so hard to prove his manhood, which is clearly as delicate as his ego, which is clearly as delicate as his biceps probably are between his third and fourth struggle curl.

But, hey, I’m sure he’s having fun, playing with the boys, pinning his favorite “no girls allowed” sign above his clubhouse, and maybe shot-gunning a few beers after 15 strong minutes of high-intensity back spasming, or whatever this was supposed to be.

Oh well, you’ll get there eventually, little buddy. Chin up.

No, seriously — your chin is supposed to go up. Like — above the bar.

Anyway, “no weirdos,” amirite?

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